Tomorrow Never Is Truly Sure

poetry love The beauty of the love you see,
is the beauty of the love in me.

I worry less, and smile more,
and all because you washed ashore.

The waters deep, and tides are rough.
And within my soul my heart beats tough.

My life has meaning, and breathes pure.
Tomorrow never is truly sure.

So for now as I lie awake.
I pray the universe never retakes.

xox

Post by Terri-Ann Cormier

© 2013, Terri-Ann Cormier. All rights reserved. If you choose to quote or re-post this blog/website you must use proper links back to the post.

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The New Parent – The Honest Parent

parenting guest blog posts Life has been an interesting road, and not one I expected. In the long run looking back, it worked out much better than expected. Maybe, that is the point – we just need to suspend our expectations and live our lives more freely.

I grew up in a large family the type where you are seen and rarely. This for me brought a lot of hurdles that I would have to overcome later in life.  I married and after 11 years I was a single mom with two amazing children.  I had no blue print for how to raise these two, however, I knew I needed to do something different than when I grew up, yet they were the only skills/experiences I had to refer to.  I learned that if I was to change the way I raised my children I had to go back and look at the way I was raised and change my perception about my learning. And so started a journey that was tough and long, but in the end so rewarding.

I choose to raise my children as individuals, I teach them to be accountable for their actions, I talk to them about what is happening in their lives. I surround them with a place (home) where they can be themselves, safe to talk about anything with fairness, truth and most importantly I allow them to see that I too am human. I get angry, make mistakes, get hurt and need me time, just like they do.

We discussed the word “fat” one day, my daughter was having a hard time with that word (she was 8 at the time). It’s such a scary thing as a mom to think that at this time in your daughter’s life she is already worried about something like this.  I allowed her to say how she was afraid she would become fat, I let her snuggle up to me and then I proceeded to say “Sweetie, we all go through this, those girls you see on TV and in magazines, that’s not a realistic view of how we all look.  At your age everyone goes through spurts of growing out before they grow taller, that is your body’s way of making sure you are healthy and it worries me that you look at yourself as fat, you are beautiful to me and I really want you to see yourself that way too, not compare yourself to someone else.”

I also told her how when I grew up I was very skinny because I was in ballet and I used to get teased that I was too skinny and I should eat more. There is no escaping teasing, it will happen, it’s just that we need to be happy with who we are and that she needed to know that her family loved her just as she was.

When we are able to sit down and share honestly with our children regarding our concerns for them and our not so great moments growing up, they begin to see they are not alone.

Remember also the children of today are coming in so much wiser, there is so much responsibility being placed upon them at such a young age these days, with the media expecting them to be older than their ages via fashion, music, internet, and television. We try to protect them at home, we don’t want them to know we are fighting or sad, the problem is children already know and in keeping those things from our children, by not being honest and upfront about who we are, they are not being taught how to hide emotions.  They feel the need to hide away from us, to keep their secrets because that is what they learn.  If we want to stop repeating the same mistakes in each generation then we have to be willing to look at ourselves and be honest and upfront.  Teach by example.

It’s funny how we are able to continually reprimand children when they are doing things wrong, however, do you ever find yourself catching them and complimenting them when they are doing something right?  When siblings are sitting down and playing great together, do you say, “Thank you guys for playing so well together, I really appreciate that because I was able to get my work done quickly”?  Try it sometime and watch the glow on their faces.  We need to build our children up at home and then when they are out in the world facing those that will tear them down, they will have the most solid foundation and know where to come when they need a little rebuilding.  You will rest easier, I guarantee it.

Guest Blog Post by Shelley Ling

 

© 2013, Terri-Ann Cormier. All rights reserved. If you choose to quote or re-post this blog/website you must use proper links back to the post.

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Too Big to Fail/Care

Too Big to Fail Care

overcoming obstacles life lessons lessons in life guest blog posts During the recession in 2008, the US Government provided bailout funds to corporations it deemed Too Big to Fail. They’ve even got an acronym, TBTF. Indeed some of the beneficiaries of these funds, could be argued, were complicit in the economic meltdown in the first place. Insurance giant AIG alone was the recipient of almost $200 Billion, mostly to repair the damage caused by AIG Financial Products (AIG FP), which in 2008 alone piled up $40 billion in losses related to its dealings in complex mortgage bond derivatives. You might recall that AIG had paid out $165 million in retention bonuses to executives at the unit that compelled the U.S. to bail out the company in the first place. Causing a collective “What?!” moment the world over.

It would seem, that there was nothing to be done, as the bonuses were set in stone, and reportedly would cost the US Taxpayer much more to cancel.  In the end, the bonuses were mostly returned, but arguably not because of a finally realized sense of fairplay, but because the US House of Representatives voted overwhelmingly to tax the bonus by up to 90%.

This world of high finance, dealing in figures that are simply unimaginable to the masses, is indicative of corporations today that seemingly look to take our money at whatever cost, without a sense of fair-play. Indeed, they design contracts that would cost much more to cancel, than to simply give up and live with it. It would seem that the measure of a company’s success is based then on the length & strength of contracts they can afford to write. Does the consumer then have a real choice? The decision then becomes dealing with the devil you know, versus the devil you don’t. Has any of us read Apple’s iTunes contract? If so, do you read it on each change? They present it to you each time, in fact you cannot continue with your download until you agree to their updated terms.

The sense of powerlessness for the consumer, becomes resentment, and anger that while can be directed, rarely becomes anything but short lived disdain. So short in fact, that AIG actually considered taking part in a lawsuit against the very entity that bailed it out in the first place, arguing that they lost tens of billions of dollars when the government attached onerous terms to the bailout.

Too Big to Fail Care.

Small business pays the price for the inappropriate actions of their much larger siblings, becoming the target of the public’s outrage, and look to nail the enterprise whenever possible. Why? Because they can.

As a small business, it is unthinkable that we might seek out the business of our neighbors, then hold them to the fire in the transactions that follow. Not many small businesses charge interest on late payments, because we are expected to suck it up. But we must pay our vendors if we are late by one day, that is if they are big enough. Why?

Too Big to Fail Care.  

Have you ever had the pleasure of receiving an invoice from UPS?  They are impossible to read, and come with so many additional fees and charges, that it quickly becomes more costly to figure it out, than to simply pay the bill and curse under your breath “Never again” until the next time.  Attempting to reach anyone that might lend a sympathetic ear is an exercise in futility. Who has the time to negotiate their telephone prompts, only to be left on hold indefinitely, all the while being told that our call, and business, is important to them.

Too Big to Fail Care.

In challenging economic times, the market place becomes a hunting ground for large business. Recently, we have witnessed  large corporations with deep pockets swoop in, apply downward pressure to Requests for Tender opportunities, that drive the small players to the side lines to pick up scraps, or in many cases completely out of business.  If this was International Trade, dumping would be the appropriate term. How many times have we seen payroll tax rebates rolled out for call centres that are here only as long as their contracts lasts, regardless of incentives. How many times have we seen dying industries propped up by millions in taxpayers dollars, only to see them fold up shop.

How is it our Health Authorities, who receive the lion’s share of our tax dollars,  are able to take millions of dollars out of the region when many local small business are more than capable of servicing their needs?

It is not lost on any individual, small or medium sized business,  that tough times call for tough measures, but the attitude of those who are responsible for spending our tax dollars in support of our infrastructure is often no better than the large corporations looking to grab those funds, at the expense of small business. Bullying tactics are not unusual, and it is all about price, when everyone agrees that price is but one component in any business transaction, or relationship. We have witnessed our institutions accept product on tenders that didn’t meet their own specification, because they had no way to confirm that the product met the spec in the first place. A guaranteed method of losing any future opportunities, is to speak up and call to task those who would waste our tax dollars.

We have witnessed our institutions go out for tender on low cost  items for as few as ten per year, after a small business has worked their tail off to present the product, demo the product, provide demos and loaners, only then to lose the tender by an inconsequential amount to an out of province entity that had zero investment in the promotion of the product or service in the first place.

Too Big to Fail Care.

When people stop caring, when passing the buck is common place, when not my department is the template response, and when day to day transactions become adversarial, the enterprising entrepreneurs that recognize opportunities, and take risks, will take a step back, become guarded, and may not take the courageous steps that may offer society a better mousetrap.

Too Big to Fail, or Too Big to Care?

What are your thoughts? Share your comments below.

Guest Post by: Anonymous NS Small Business Owner

© 2013, Terri-Ann Cormier. All rights reserved. If you choose to quote or re-post this blog/website you must use proper links back to the post.

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Being FREE to Just BE!

lessons in life happiness So today I had the absolute pleasure of attending a ‘Re-script Your Life’ workshop put on by Manon Pelletier of the Amana Institute. To be quite honest this workshop came into my life at the most perfect time. I’ve not only struggled with the basis of having to recreate my self based on the perception that I always need to do what ‘society’ has told me to – but also the basis that somehow just learning to BE – offers magnificent creative surpluses. These surpluses just do not occur when following the crowd.

So in this class today we talked about Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Moksha – the four pursusharthas. For a description of each please click here.

Now, I am not about to steal the Amana Institutes thunder – however what I wanted to share is my own understanding of what being FREE to just BE is! I’ve worked on this for years, and only as of late have I felt it come to fruition. It is a sense of knowing – knowing who you are, who you want to be, understanding your purpose, and implementing actions to create a life with purpose on purpose.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony” – Mahatma Gandhi

I think in life we begin to follow a certain pattern, a pattern to which is taught to us through our parents, teachers and peers when we are young. And to get to a place where what we think, say and do are in perfect harmony we need to change that pattern. We need to create our own pathways – our own script if you will.

To be FREE to just BE, means ultimately that we are free to be ourselves – whomever that person develops to be. I think and believe that we are ALL put here for a purpose, and our job if you chose to accept, is to spend your life figuring out what that purpose is and then do it! My purpose I know is to share my stories, write and motivate others who have been through tragedies in their lives to stand up and change the string that holds them in this space.

Life is what we make it people, so lets make it great! Just BE, just be you – no matter what!

Post by Terri-Ann Cormier

lessons in life happiness

© 2013, Terri-Ann Cormier. All rights reserved. If you choose to quote or re-post this blog/website you must use proper links back to the post.

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New Year’s Resolutions

resolutions lessons in life goal setting Well Good-Bye sweet 2012 – you certainly were a passion driven year! I don’t know about you, but for me 2012 was filled was some of the hardest life lessons, the strangest memorable moments and the most passion filled goal settings – ever! But alas she has come to an end, and here we are at the beginning of 2013.

Most people make the decision each and every year to create some sort of New Year’s Resolution – and to those people its another way to set some pretty hefty goals with a fresh start. I myself goal set year round, so it doesn’t make sense to wait until a new year to create a new one.

Forbes.com states that there are 5 New Year’s Resolutions that you just won’t keep. For some magical reason the majority of these resolutions are all health related. The first in their list of 5 being diet. Now we all know for some people diets are a way of life – a lifestyle change, and for others its just the next big fad. Health is an important aspect in all our lives – but why wait until a new month, or new year to begin? Health experts explain that the problem is that most of us just won’t stick with it, and that’s why I believe a lifestyle change is in order.

When we constrict our behaviours in an extreme manner it goes against our grain – we can keep it up for a while, but stats show that the majority of us will quit or give up. Truth be told, we live in a world where we want immediate results – and technically speaking it takes much longer to take off the pounds than to put them on.

StaticBrain.com lists the top 10 resolutions, with the #1 being to lose weight and #10 being to spend more time with family. With 45% of people making resolutions – only 8% are successful in keeping their resolution.

So what’s girl/guy to do?

  • Well for starters don’t make a goal you can’t keep (ex: win a million dollars) – make goals that are within your control.
  • Crunch it down – make a goal and then work it into steps to achieve it. (Goal: Lose 20 lbs – avg 2 lbs a week healthy loss = 10 weeks).
  • Tell someone – stats show that when you have a person or persons to answer to you may be much more apt to achieve it for fear of embarrassment.
  • Don’t just wait for a new day, new month or new year – Start NOW!

Listen I am not about to tell anyone not to make a New Years Resolution – but I am here to share with you my thoughts. I believe in goals – not so much in resolutions (they feel too temporary). I believe in maintaining balance in your life, striving for better, and continuously learning.

My goal for 2013 is to finish and publish my book. What is your goal for 2013? Did you make a resolution for the NY?

Post by Terri-Ann Cormier

resolutions lessons in life goal setting

© 2013, Terri-Ann Cormier. All rights reserved. If you choose to quote or re-post this blog/website you must use proper links back to the post.

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